We had known each other since before I can remember anything. I do remember when I was younger there would be times when we hung out during family gatherings, but it was not until we started going to the same school that our friendship really grew. I played on a bunch of the sports teams at school, but I was not an athlete. Jerry was an athlete. He wrestled, he ran cross-country, he participated in track and field, and he probably could have played on any of the other teams he wanted to if his time was not already taken by other sports and activities. We attended Lakeview Middle School together and our presence is still marked in the gym there today. I had been put in charge of designing the achievement banners that would soon fly from the rafters of the newly minted school. For example, the banner for the Cross-country championship our school had already won included a logo of California and a star to designate our location. I helped design the banner, Jerry helped win the Championship. There were also the Athletes of the Year banners to recognize those individuals who had succeeded in multiple school sports. Once again, I made the banners, Jerry made it onto the banners.
When we entered high school the paths that Jerry and I took started very differently. I attempted to play football and reap the requisite ass that I understood football players were entitled to. Jerry began training to join an impressive wrestling program. An injury forced Jerry out of wrestling and the threat of permanent shoulder damage prevented him from pursing what may have been an excellent run in the sport. I flat out couldn't play the position I was assigned to during football season. Who puts a guy like me at right guard? I mean c'mon man. I was born to play quarterback. Anyway, the two of us ended up finding new prospects when we joined the golf team.
I had started playing golf a few years earlier and it was something I spent a lot of time developing into a skill. Jerry had also been playing golf for some time as his father was the golf coach at the high school. Even though Jerry was a year below me in school, our progress through high school golf followed similar paths.
It was there, during the hundreds of hours practicing at the golf course, playing on the weekends and going on golfing trips that me and Jerry became good friends. We shared a passion for the game and a competitiveness that helped the both of us along. Some of my fondest memories are from times spent in and around the golf team. A golf team with Jerry and I as a foundation. One time I was awarded the athlete of the week by the local paper and my description of the team was all but too obvious. Our team was comprised of two golfers(me and Jerry) and four guys who played golf. There's a difference that we understood. Jerry was a player.
"Players make plays." That is a saying that a mutual friend of ours likes to recite. It speaks true of some individuals who simply find a way to get it done. We were lucky enough to experience this phenomenon for years on the high school golf team. Jerry had the magic. He had the heart and the will to make good things happen for himself on the golf course. Nobody got more out of himself than Jerry did. The guy could not have been more that 5'7". He was probably even a little shorter than that. Like it mattered. Dude could hit that golf ball as far as people twice his size and more importantly he could putt it too.
He could just play and he did it in style. You know our team was never very good. The lack of success was probably foreign to him, but he used to tell the others on the team that if we were going to lose, we might as well look good as we do it. His look was clean and fresh.
I remember the day I heard Jerry had been diagnosed with cancer. It was shocking because I considered young people like us to be exempt for such ordeals. I didn't know what to tell him. At 22, the whole world still seems like it's ahead of you and faced with a life threatening disease it would have been easy for Jerry to feel sorry for himself. I'll never know exactly what went through his mind, but self pity and failure was never to be found. He approached the fight of his life with an attitude similar to any other conflict we could face. Nothing was present but the belief that he could overcome whatever obstacles were brought before him. He had no reason to think otherwise. Life had already tried to tell him it would be hard from the get go. Did he let his small stature serve as a sign that perhaps he shouldn't try to hang with the big boys? Nope. Why would this disease be any different? I never believed that he gave up. I think his body just couldn't keep up with will to live.
The experience of watching one of my friends go was difficult. I had not experienced death so close to me before and it affects you. More than the sadness of that time last year however, I took away a new attitude toward several aspects of my life. First of all, the time we might all have is unknown and potentially short. Thus, there is no sense in wasting time. I understood now that if I want something I'd better get started with getting it. Second, I learned that working toward a goal has value regardless of the end result. Jerry fought for his life until the very end and he would have been willing to suffer through whatever it would take to preserve hope. Ultimately, his body was unable to recover, but his effort was not all for nothing. Jerry showed me that we must put in work. Somethings in life are beyond our control, but if we are to have any power over the outcome of this world it has to come from the decisions we make and the effort we expend to make a definite reality. I try to apply this lesson to my work ethic in whatever it is I choose to pursue. If I'm willing to do what is necessary to achieve my goals, I have to believe that the rest will take care of itself.
Oddly, this anniversary has come to pass quicker than I had expected and it is interesting to note how much things have changed since my friend has been gone. It's a sad day for sure, but important because it gives us a chance to recollect good times and ensure that our friend is not to be forgotten.
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